Jack Vettriano The Assessment

Jack Vettriano The AssessmentJack Vettriano The ArrangementJack Vettriano The Apprentice
me now. Looking up, I imagined I saw them there; Daddy was holding Mom’s hand, one hand on her shoulder as though to comfort her. They looked at each other, expressions should be pretty obvious that Lord of the Rings isn’t mine. I’m only responsible for mangling storyline, characters, and backstory for my own twisted amusement.A/N: I blame l-ishida-dark. Entirely. She’s the one who brought up the subject of the magical belly-button piercing. She’s also responsible for the ending of this chapter. XDPROTIP, u gaiz! When you’ve got exams in two days time, the ABSOLUTE BEST THING YOU CAN DO is start off a new fic. For best results, make it a complete piss-take with no merit whatsoever besides personal lols, then post it on an archive infamous for the tempestuousness of its authors.Rest assured that any comments, positive or negative, which take this seriously in any way at all should at least provide me with much-needed amusement.Enjoy!Chapter OneA single tear, crystalline and glistening, slid down my cheek. My eyes were dark with sadness. No, literally. I know it seems odd, but my eyes change colour when I feel strong emotion. Today, as I choked back sobs at the side of the freshly-turned earth, they were black, as black as my long, poker-straight hair was blonde. Well, blacker than that, because my hair is actually pink and purple as well as blonde. Cool, huh?But I digress.A single tear, crystalline and glistening, slid down my cheek, as I was saying before I so rudely interrupted myself. Pain clutched at my very soul, my blonde-and-pink-and-purple hair shrouding my heart-shaped face as I knelt there, head in hands.My mother… my father… if only they were there with